Anime from the Fall 2013 season that weren’t good

Unbreakable Machine Doll (Machine-Doll wa Kizutsukanai) – The main female is literally an object, who is obviously obsessed with and constantly offering all sorts of sexualized things to the main lead, who we are supposed to be all like, WHOAH, SO ETHICAL AND AMAZING because he doesn’t want to treat women like objects, instead he is white-knighting them. BARF BARF BARF. It’s straight-up male power fantasy, white-knight-style, and that sexist, unexamined shit can barf barf barf. There is some uncomfortable violence against women by men and the plots vaguely interesting, if completely unoriginal, so the show really faffs off into bleh land.

Walkure Romanze – It’s a show about girls who joust. The main character is your standard-issue-non-entity-talented-but-not-too-talented-male-all-the-ladies-are-slashy-with. I didn’t like the main female, she’s too shrill and whiny and it’s hard to not be annoyed by her, but she tries hard and means well. The rest of the constant fanservice is just… tiresome. And eventually, the lack of unique or original characters or a plot other than School:We’re-in-it killed off any interest I had. To boring to watch.

I Couldn’t Become A Hero, So I Reluctantly Decided To Get A Job (Yuusha ni Narenakatta Ore wa Shibushibu Shuushoku wo Ketsui Shimashita) – Fanservice with the barest plot premise, which barely shows up until a rush at the end. It was kinda fun to watch characters fight with the tedium of actual living, rather than glamor of fighting the devil, but it all revolved around the genitals and breasts of the female characters, and how interesting those were! (hint: they’re not really). It had the potential to be an interesting parody, but it isn’t. As wank material, it’s a solid B if you’re okay with unremarked on female harassment and humiliation, but as an anime to watch and enjoy, a solid D.

Samurai Flamenco – At first, I thought this was an interesting show about a guy’s boyish dreams of being a superhero and how they clashed with reality, and how he was stubbornly trying to get them to fit in despite police, uninterested in perfection people, and the troubles of modern living. It was original and semi-parody and reminded me of Tiger and Bunny, and the characters were equal-opportunity slashy with a strong female lead. But then shit went downhill and downhill FAST into a flaming pile of Just-like-everything-else, totally cliche and uninteresting, inexplicable developments, and the sexual humiliation and physical dis-empowering of the female lead for no other reason than because women:amiright. From maybe an A down to a D show. Hasn’t ended yet, but only expecting poor things.

Non Non Biyori – A snoozefest. I’m not the biggest fan of slice-of-life genre, especially if there isn’t a supernatural factor, and this was just… SO… BORING. Nothing happens, the characters weren’t original or interesting. Unwatchable.

My Mental Choices are Completely Interfering with my School Romantic Comedy (Ore no Nounai Sentakushi ga, Gakuen Lovecome o Zenryoku de Jama Shiteiru ) – I was mixed on this at first, because I love any plot line that includes god/gods, since I think that kind of overpowering supernatural force is super interesting. But it just didn’t do enough to counterbalance the constant harassment of women as a joke (sure, it’s embarrassing for him but the problem I had was with the way it was presented to the viewer). I just don’t like to watch that much humiliation and degradation of men, much less that much constant rapey-feeling bothering of and objectification of women. Unwatchable.

Diabolik Lovers: Haunted Dark Bridal – This looked at first like it might be a fun to watch silly anime about too many hot boys, but no. It’s an anime about watching a bunch of boys physically, verbally, and sexually assault a girl. Repeatedly, as if they were practicing for their Abuse 101 midterm, for 80% of the screen time. Completely unwatchable.

Arpeggio of Blue Steel (Aoki Hagane no Arpeggio: Ars Nova) – Aliens? are keeping humans out of the seas, and isolating and reversing the effects of globalization. A plot and setting that sounded pretty interesting and like it could go somewhere! But Then they introduce the fact that the male lead is obviously uber-super-special (gag-me-a-cliche) and so a boat, personified as a female prostrates herself before him in all kinds of sexually suggestive ways, constantly talking about how super-special-awesomesauce the male lead is. It’s just too sexist in an infuriating way, and also, really unoriginal characters and pounds of sexist bullshit. Unwatchable.

Galilei Donna – The descendants of Galileo (the mom is really into that fact), three daughters leads to inexplicable things in an inexplicable world that is mean to them for no apparent reason. I feel like I was supposed to be intrigued or that it was a mystery for them to solve, but when the flying fish mecha showed up I decided that it was just inexplicable and uninteresting. Three lead ladies was maybe interesting and different, but it wasn’t.

Miss Monochrome: The Animation – Short, mildly amusing comedy about robots. Meh.

Kill La Kill – I was all excited to see this, hoping it would be well done and interesting seeing as it’s an action show where both the protagonist and the big bad are strong women. No, it is trite, completely unoriginal, uninteresting, and filled with rape jokes, threatening to rape ladies because they are in mildly vulnerable positions, and sexually humiliating women as fanservice. This show can fuck off and die.

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